I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me that man meat
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize