He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
