I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
