I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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