We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
