loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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