I molested 6 butterflies tonight
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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