do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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