Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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