it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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