You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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