i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
