So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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