Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Can you bring me the toilet please
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
