You're so nebulous sometimes
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
