small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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