That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
