they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
