What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
