I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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