I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
