i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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