i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
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I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
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He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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