yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
