are you still at the devil's house?
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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