It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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