ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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