After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
