I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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