Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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