thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
