I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
