i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
