so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
