Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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