Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
