I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
