YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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