someone threw a dead crab at me
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
