508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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