I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize