Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
