I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
