ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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