Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize