i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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