I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
