OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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