Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just invented taco cereal.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
