I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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