You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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