Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
