Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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