he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
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I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
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True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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